Looking back I know why I wasn’t writing. So, so many reasons, and none of them good enough. This year has not been one of my best. I am looking forward to 2010 ending and a whole new year beginning with fresh hopes, dreams, and plans. This past year has held a lot of sorrow for me and in my struggle to deal with it, writing was the last thing I felt I had the energy for. Now, in hindsight, I do regret that fact. I regret not being candid and writing when the pain was fresh. I regret not documenting this year in my children’s lives. They are always changing and when I read the old blog posts about the kids I always have a smile on my face. I’m sad that they’re aren’t any for 2010. There are barely any from 2009! Especially for Micah. He went from a cute little blob to an talking, walking, whirlwind of a boy and there is no reflection of that in my blog. So, so sad.

Alright, wallowing in regrets will get me nowhere. Once again I will resolve to do better, and with that resolve firm in hand I look to the future and it is bright and full of writing. I’ll kick it off with taking a picture a day for the month of December and committing to blogging at least once a month in 2011. That’s a reasonable goal. There you have it, keep me accountable!

Well this is a few days after the fact, but it’s been hectic around here. Thursday was my Mom’s birthday. It was nice to be able to celebrate her birthday before she and my Dad returned to Ecuador. They were here for three weeks, but it went by in a blink. My Mom is great. I will be the first to admit that I’ve always been a Daddy’s girl. Growing up I think I often took my Mom for granted. I loved her, but I don’t know how much I really thought about how great she is. The older I get, combined with having become a mother myself, the more I realise how amazing she is. She is very creative and delights in making all sorts of things for her family. She is a wonderful cook. She is kind and loving and an amazing listener. She is wise and a better nurse then I’ll ever be. Mom, I am so incredible blessed to have been raised by you and to have you for my Mother. I hope I can have the kind of relationship we have with my own daughters. I love you!

I’m not real big on New Year’s resolutions, but I would like to blog more consistently this year, even if only for myself. Facebook updates are quick and easy, but not quite the same as blogging, you know?

So, how to keep myself being more consistent? I’ve noticed that for me, photography and blogging seem to fall in the same category. Creative outlets that help preserve memories. I always seem to get distracted by life and forget to pick up my camera. (Take my parents recent visit, almost no photographic evidence.) I also seem to get stumped as to where to start when I sit down to blog. I’ve noticed that having a photo seems to inspire my blogging. So, I’ve decided to follow in my friend Amy’s footsteps and take up a Year in Pictures Project. I really hope I can stick it out, and I hope my pictures will be fun, beautiful and full of memories. hopefully I can grow as a photographer and a blogger!
I know I didn’t start right at the beginning of the year, but hey, we’re only three days in, right? Here is my picture for today. Christmas break is over and today was all about squeezing in every last bit of relaxing we could before school starts again tomorrow. I am so not ready for that!

Emily Marie. I’m not sure who told you it was ok to grow up. Last time I looked you were still a sweet little toddler, now suddenly you’re a sweet girl, not even a little girl anymore. Almost all traces of your babyhood are gone and sometimes I can even catch glimpses of the woman you will become. The chubby cheeks and tummy and faded into long thin legs and a gentle smile. I can’t lie and say I don’t feel a little sad that my baby is disappearing, but how sad can I be when the girl you have become is so wonderful? There are so many things I love about you. Your sense of humor, especially the glint in your eyes when you are being subtly funny. Your love of learning and of teaching others what you have learned. Your compassionate heart. Your gentleness with your baby brother. Your loyalty to your friends. Your creativity. Your love for your little sister.

I still see little girl wonder in your eyes. I’m glad about that. I hope you can hold on to that wonderment for the rest of your life. You have learned so much this year. How to read, how to write, how to add and subtract, how to speak Spanish. You’ve learned how to ride the bus and find your way to your classroom. You’ve learned more complex conflict resolution skills. And you’re starting to learn piano. You absolutely love to pass all your new found knowledge on to Katrina.

You still love to play dress-up. You love to draw and color and all kinds of crafts. You still hate to perform in front of people. You don’t like change. You prefer to have plenty of warning about activities so you can have time to think through how things will go. When you need to make a decision, you carefully consider all your options. Sometimes you take things a little too seriously.

I love you so much. I hope I can teach you to take life as it comes. To cope with the unexpected. To be flexible. I hope I can help you hold on to your creativity and believe in yourself. I hope I can help you understand how amazing our God is and how much He loves you. I hope you will always trust me, even though I make mistakes all the time. I hope you never doubt my love. The last six years have had their ups and downs, but through it all you have been a gift. I can’t wait to see what the years ahead have in store.

Emily is Six! 03/29/03

So, off we went. It was a very fun, very exhausting trip. I took advantage of Christoph being at work all day to catch up with friends. It was soo nice to hang out with them, see their kids, have our kids play together, and just talk. Then of course there was Disneyland!

Disneyland was a blast. So, having lived previously in Southern California, I’ve been to Disneyland before. However, I must say, going with kids is a whole different experience. As an adult, if you go on a low traffic day and are hardcore you can see and do Disneyland in one day. With kids, you could go for a week and not run out of things to do. Out of necessity, the pace is so much slower. Plus, they care about the experience, not just the rides. So, I was a little caught of guard at how little we did over the span of two days, but at the same time I didn’t feel ripped off at all. It was so great. The girls absolutely loved it and they had such a great time. And we did do a lot! Katrina says her favorite ride was Dumbo. Emily really loved Pirates of the Caribbean and Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.
You can see more pictures on Flickr, just click on the picture. We came home exhausted since we were up late almost every night and the kids weren’t being very cooperative about their naps, but it was worth it. I would do it again in a second. Lisa, Heather, Amy, it was so great to see you guys. Thanks for hanging out with me!

I mean, what do you say…This person who was related to you, but you have no memory of, is dead and buried here and we’re stopping by to visit? I mean the whole concept of visiting a graveside is a little strange. Especially for a Christian who knows that it’s just the person’s body and they’re no where around. So, that got me thinking, why did I feel the desire to stop at all?
I think the reason is because I know how much she meant to Christoph. She played a huge part in making him who he is and I know he misses her. She was kind to me and I know she would have loved to meet her great-grandkids and hold them and spoil them. So, we stopped. We left some pink roses because pink was her favorite color. It was nice to sit on the hillside for a minute, look out over the city and tell my kids a little about their great-grandmother and what a neat lady she was. Nana, you are not forgotten.

My little Beezie-girl is growing so fast. Although she is only 2 and 3/4 years old, she is now wearing size 4T! She has so quickly moved from sweet mispronunciations like “chlocalate” and “falowler” to speaking in complex sentences. Now the funny things are her random associations. If you want a doozy of a non sequitur just ask her any question beginning with “Why”. Although she does still ask for “tessert” and “cimanin toast”. Anyway, before they are lost from my mind forever I thought I’d share some of her recent funnies.

Just right now she was eating a mini-snickers when she looked at me with her brow furrowed and said, “You have to watch out for seeds in this.” Not so much a fan of the peanuts apparently.

Katrina has a soft green blanket with silky around the edge. She is very, VERY fond of this blanket. She will take it everywhere we let here. Yesterday I decided it was past due time for it to get washed. I may have previously mentioned the time I carelessly grabbed it from her and threw it in the wash. She screamed her head off for 20min without stopping-no exaggeration. Since then I have bribed her to put in in the wash. Yesterday however, she was having none of it. She would just look at me and say “I want my blankie” and THEN KISS IT! After some attempts at negotiation, I finally just took it and threw it in the wash. Fortunately the tears were short lived when we started reading some stories. After I took it out of the wash and gave it back to her, she grabbed it and started kissing it and saying, “I love you, I love you,” then she looked at me and said, “Thank you so much for getting me my blankie out to the wash. I love this blanket.” Sheesh
Katrina has never sucked a thumb or a pacifier, but ever since she was little she takes the edge of her blanket and pats it against her lips. We were sitting at the table together and I absently started tapping my mouth with the fuzzy zipper pull on my sweatshirt. She looks at me and says. “Mommy, is that zipper your blankie?” I was taken totally off guard and responded, “No, it’s just soft, want to feel it?” After solemnly touching it she states, “My blankie is very soft.”
I was sitting in a chair playing with Micah and Katrina comes up and informs me, “Micah is hungry. He wants to eat from your booboos.” Umm, he hasn’t nursed in over two months, I somehow doubt he suddenly has a hankering. But, thanks anyway.

As I was changing the sheets on her bed she came up and asked if she could help. I basically blew her off. She stands on the edge of the bed and says, “When Daddy is making the bed I say, ‘Can I help you Daddy?’ and he says, ‘yes you can Katrina.’ My Daddy is so, so nice.” Um, point taken.

The other day she wanted to make a project and I randomly grabbed a church bulletin and cut out all the leaves on the front, which Katrina then proceeded to glue to a piece of paper. Cheesiest craft ever. A few days later it was sitting on the table and she sees it and says, “Remember Mommy when you cut out those leaves for me and I made a project for you? You are so nice, Mommy. I love you. I want to give you a kiss.” Nothing like being appreciated.

She is such a little sweetheart, even when she’s driving me out of my mind. Love you Beezikins!

I was hoping to take a picture of Emily singing in the Christmas Eve program at our church, but we weren’t supposed to use flash and I didn’t get any good ones. She did a wonderful job singing her little heart out. This was one f the most hectic Christmas Eves I can remember. Usually we stay home a spend lots of time with family, but Emily REALLY wanted to participate in the Christmas Eve service, so we worked it in. Somehow there were a hundred little things to get done during the day. In the evening my in-laws came over and sung carols together while I made dinner. It wasn’t quite the traditional Italian feast I grew up eating, but it was still Italian. Then we dashed out the door for church, enjoyed the service and came back to our house for dessert.

We have a Christmas Eve tradition of opening one present before bed. I loved this tradition when I was a kid, so I’ve carried it on with my own kids. the presents from mom and dad aren’t under the tree until Christmas morning, but there a still ones from kind friends and relatives to choose from. It gives a little foretaste of the next day’s delights. I love this picture of Emily. You can see the anticipation and excitement filling her eyes.